Jonah 4:9 “…. I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”
Self-Pity. There’s nothing attractive about it. Like quicksand, it draws us in and pulls us down, down, down until we drown in SELF. Self-pity accepts no responsibility for our beleaguered state of mind and soothes our bruised egos with the liquor of blame-shifting. It never draws us to the high bar of forgiveness, but to the low bar of revenge. It deceives us into thinking we don’t deserve the inevitable hardships that accompany fallen life.
I hate everything about self-pity, but most of all when I find it in myself. Like Jonah, I sulk under the leaf of a plant whose shade I don’t deserve and think I’d rather die than not get my way (Jonah 4). “Oh poor me! This injustice shouldn’t happen to me! Lord, why don’t you care about me? Me, me, me. How do we throw off the mantra of me?
It’s a lot easier to deal with self-pity if we nip it in the bud. When the first inkling of feeling sorry for ourselves starts to shadow our hearts, treat it like the sin it is and repent. Don’t try putting lipstick on a pig by calling it a “struggle.” Acknowledge it, as one writer describes, “as a selfish response to something not going the way we think it should.”
Then turn to the Word of God.
Thankfully, Scripture provides us with powerful examples of those who refused to give in to self-pity. If anyone had justification for feeling sorry for himself, it was Joseph. But he refused, and when reunited with his brothers, his response pointed to God, not himself. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good….” (Genesis 50:20).
Paul suffered much because of Christ. But his epistles burst with gratitude to God, not grievances. “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish….” (Philippians 3:8).
And of course, Jesus. His life exemplifies the very opposite mindset of self-pity. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34).
So the next time you’re invited to a pity party, refuse that invitation. Wad it up, stomp on it and throw it in the trash. You have better things to do with your time!